Betrayal
by TheLadyTsubasax
Summary: "Sakura, I want a divorce" Sakura was tired of it. She was tired of taking him back, giving him chance after chance to change, to become the man she married again. The only 'change' she got was his actions growing more coldly towards her.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THIS ANIME/MANGA. ALL CHARACTERS AND RIGHTS BELONG TO CLAMP, I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR THIS STORY.**

**Summary: ** "Sakura, I want a divorce"

Sakura was tired of it. She was tired of taking him back, giving him chance after chance to change, to become the man she married again. The only 'change' she got was his actions growing more coldly towards her, did he not even stop to _think _how she would feel?

**A/N:** Here is a new story for you all, another oneshot I'm afraid. I'm sorry for not updating my other stories recently...please believe me that I will finish them. I promise you all! So for now I hope you enjoy this! If any of you like to listen to music while reading i strongly suggest that you should listen to these particular songs, as these are the songs I listened to personally when writing this story :)

Confidence - Yuki Kajiura

Revolve - Yuki Kajiura

You should have lied - Stephanie McIntosh

Why - Secondhand Serenade

Fujita Maiko - Anata Wa Shiawase ni Naru

* * *

><p><strong>Betrayal<strong>

**~~SxS~~**

_**The buttons on my phone are worn thin**_

_**I don't think that I knew the chaos I was getting in.**_

It was like every other lonesome night; she would wait in the empty study room for her husband to come home late as expected. She looked out the window to the right for the thousandth time that exposed the entrance of the drive way, in her mind praying…begging for his car to appear around the corner.

_**But I've broken all my promises to you**_

_**I've broken all my promises to you.**_

Wind could be heard howling throughout the hollow hallways from the outside, with the knocking of the tree's branches against the double-glazed windows. Sakura was grateful for all these little sounds for they had kept her from going insane in the deathly silence; she had missed the kind warmth of his body pressed against hers in a soothing comforting manner. She couldn't remember the scent of his cologne anymore, the presence and scent of him could no longer be found in the manor. Countless nights when she had waited for him till early in the morning she had climbed the long stairs dragging herself to their-no, her bed collapsing her light weight onto the mattress pulling his pillow towards her body inhaling his scent. The only last thing she had of him, to prove to her that he existed, for she had not seen him in for days now. It was _so _faint now…

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

_**Why do you do this so easily?**_

The grandfather's clock would tick, conveying the quietness of the house. Her heart concealed with ice, kept away from all subjects regarding emotions and relationships. Her eyes a lifeless glass green instead of the lush emerald once before, her posture slightly slagging with her shoulders lazily slanted down; with her attire clinging onto her thin body from malnourishment. But of course her husband didn't know, he was never here after all.

"_It didn't use to be like this."_

_**You make it hard to smile because**_

_**You make it hard to breathe**_

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

She had once or maybe even twice attempted to confront her husband with her worries on why he had been coming home late, but as if he had known this he had texted or even called her to not wait up for him and go to sleep…

**~~SxS~~**

**7:00PM 12****th**** December 2009**

_She waited in the dark house for her husband, drowning in shame and lies when unexpectedly her mobile vibrated snapping her out of her train of thoughts to see she had received a message. The sound was so foreign to her ears without any friends and family now…for her family had moved abroad disagreeing with this marriage. She walked over to her phone, picking it up to see the text was from her husband. She let a stifled gasp escape from her, shakily pressing the 'read' button to open the message on the illuminated screen her heart beating fast. _

_Hey Saks,_

_I'm going to be late coming home again, don't wait up for me. Make sure to lock up the doors, and have a good rest._

_I love you_

…

_**~~SxS~~**_

She scoffed at the memory at the last three words, she knew those three words meant _nothing_ to her husband as they did to her, but she couldn't handle it…the silence was suffocating her persistently…

_**A phrasing that's a single tear,**_

_**Is harder than I ever feared**_

She bursted into tears crying her heart out; feeling her throat go dry her eyes blood shot red from the nights she had waited for him crying endlessly. The text reminded her so much of the _old_ him! It was the same every other time when she was ready to leave this disarray behind; he would do _something_ to pull her back into her dark cage, trapping her once again. She frantically tried to distinguish him out of her thoughts but the _old _him just wouldn't leave her mind, his old self was the one she fell in love with. He punished her thoughts and movements, every step she hesitated to take with him clouding her thoughts. She was trapped in the cage of lies, not enabling her to move on and be free. She was _so weak_! And she_ despised_ herself for it.

_**And you were left feeling so alone.**_

_**Because these days aren't easy**_

_**Like they have been once before**_

His warm smile…his soft caresses…where had it all gone?

_**These days aren't easy anymore.**_

Her eyes fluttered lightly, growing heavy every heart wrenching second, clutching her garment not giving in to the opened armed darkness which slowly continued to overwhelm her. She was determined to see him tonight, for tonight would be the night she would speak to him in months about the subject she had constantly tried to avoid. Weakly getting up walking over to the cabinet, and opened a compartment to reveal a bottle of whisky. She smiled inwardly taking the bottle and a shot glass out closing the cupboard afterwards with a small click. She proceeded back to the furniture where she was before slouching unceremoniously back down, placing the bottle and cup on the table pouring herself a shot abruptly; then hastily pouring the liquid down her throat feeling the warm liquid burn down her throat. Sighing in contentment feeling her nerves ease a tad she relaxed back into the chair, closing her eyes.

She remembered when he had taken her to a business gathering in December, in celebration of the Li Corp's great success.

**~~SxS~~**

**December 14****th**** 8:40pm**

"_Sakura, I'll be right back I just have to speak to an important client of mine alright?" _

"_Sure, that's fine" She smiled, he gave her a short peck on the lips and being distracted Sakura's grip on his arm loosened and he briskly left. She watched him weave his way through the large crowd being congratulated by the older business men that owned other successful rich businesses, Syaoran nodding and thanking them. She felt her heart swell of proudness, congratulating him on his well hard earned success. However her forehead suddenly creased when she saw him approach a tall, blonde on the other side of the room in a red cocktail dress. _

'_I wonder who that is…' Sakura silently pondered, watching the two interact in a lively conversation. She silently continued to watch his eyes roam the blonde's body hungrily, unconsciously licking his lips. But Sakura was refrained from watching them anymore when she was disturbed by a young woman congratulating her husband on his great achievement, explaining how impressed she was on how Li corporations had improved since her husband had become the CEO. Sakura curtly told the woman she had business to attend politely thanking her for a hospitable comment and slipped away from the crowd, seeing that Syaoran was leading the blonde woman upstairs…_

**~~SxS~~**

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

_**Why do you do this so easily?**_

The house used to be _so_ full of laughter and life…

_**You make it hard to smile because**_

_**You make it hard to breathe**_

The grandfather's clock chimed notifying Sakura that another hour had passed. She could feel disappointment run through her, and possibly resentment? She had pondered why she had never hated him for the acts he had done to her, but she was never the sort of person to hate someone. She fiddled with her cashmere top with her slim hands in attempt to keep herself occupied, constantly looking at the grandfather's clock at the time. Sakura began to reminiscence about the first couple of nights that he had come home this late; she remembered crying wondering if anything bad had happened to her husband out of pure instinct like any other wife would do. But looking at the present now she had gotten so used to his cold actions that she had in a way adapted to it which she had sadly grown to admit to herself, every single lie eating her away, soul and body, she used to be described as the girl that would never stop smiling; the girl who could enlighten the dark. No one would believe you now if you were to tell them that, even she herself had a hard time to believe it. For she was now a hesitant, scared, self-conscious woman; like a scared child imprisoned in a woman's body, she had enclosed herself away from reality for months now…

She felt so cold, so lifeless…

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

_**To me, to me, to me.**_

Everyday repeated itself starting with her first waking up to find her husband already left for work, from time to time his side of the bed wasn't even touched meaning he hadn't come home the previous night. Regularly he wouldn't come home a few days, but she just brushed the thought off that he was _'working hard'_ and decided to _'sleep in the office'_. Sakura would eat alone in silence, some might say it was peaceful but as a child she surrounded by so much love by her parents and friends it was so lonesome. His little whereabouts of him disappearing for hours to days to weeks began to increase; with her apprehending she was no longer wanted. With her husband growing farther apart from her, he didn't want her; she couldn't deny it. He wouldn't need her in his life; he was a very handsome young man with chocolate ruffled hair and a muscular male figure that would put any man in the shadows. Asia's richest and not to forget handsome and richest tycoon! The heir to the famous Li Corporation!

_**I should have known this wasn't real**_

_**And fought it off and fought to feel**_

And truth to be honest, she was the one who was the _only _one clinging onto their relationship which was a thin thread that anyone could cut any second. Even her friends told her that before they had gotten married that he was trouble, she remembered distinctively that they had called him a 'playboy' and 'player' who slept around with women. But she just wouldn't believe it. She denied every comment against their marriage that came their way, even her own parents and family turned on her! She had _**nobody**__. _She always kept reminding herself it wasn't her place to ask him with about him always coming home late.

_**What matters most? Everything**_

_**That you feel while listening to every word that I sing.**_

The faint rustling sound of movement resonated inside the manor whenever she shifted her sitting position to keep herself comfortable, pushing herself to stay awake for her husband; as it was her duty as a wife to wait for husband from a _'tiring' _day of work. Sometimes when he had come home he hadn't even acknowledge her presence but just walk up the stairs which lead to their bedroom, but that wasn't true anymore. He was never home anymore like he used to, he was always away from her and the house never spending any quality time with his wife. She questioned herself daily if she had upset him to make him isolate her this way in their relationship, she blamed herself for everything.

Had she done something wrong? Did she insult him in any way?

_**I promise you I will bring you home**_

_**I will bring you home.**_

He was with _her _again…he had no reason to come home after all. But the one thing that scared Sakura was that one day he wouldn't come home one night, and that would be it. He would turn his back on her, and walk out of her life. She asked herself again and again if she would be ready for that. Could she handle it? What would be the point of being in a relationship when the other wasn't faithful?

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

_**Why do you do this so easily?**_

She was the reason why he was miserable when he came home; looking tired with his clothes out of place. The reason why he could never say 'I love you' in a way a husband should say to his wife, yes he could easily text it as it held no emotion orally but to say it when you don't really mean it would have to be downright awkward.

Sakura had married Syaoran Li at the age of eighteen, young yes but both were over heels for each other back then. Sakura remembered the day when they exchanged vows, the love and adoration radiating from him _oh kami-sama _how she wished they returned. The soft and gentle kiss they shared finalising their long awaited marriage, with the loving expression on his face bounding them together till death do they part.

'_Those vows...would hold right'?_ She questioned herself.

Sakura knew she should leave him, he cheated on her almost every day if he could but of course she didn't realise this; for she was a slow minded person, so unaware of the obvious events occurring around her. He had never told her he was doing this of course, and Sakura didn't question him. She believed _every _single white lie he told her, 'sorry can't come home so much work to do or business with a client', a meeting, an emergency at work eating out with important seniors so many lies he told her and _none_ he felt guilty for.

Sakura was tired of it. She was tired of taking him back, giving him chance after chance to change, to become the man she married again. The only 'change' she got was his actions growing more coldly towards her, did he not even stop to _think _how she would feel?

She wasn't going to stand for it anymore, for being the '_good wife'_ while he did whatever he wanted. He hadn't even apologized. What, that made it okay? Did he have no courage to tell his own wife that he was sleeping with other women behind her own back? He treated her like a puppet instead of a human being, he gave her no love or comfort he had ruined her life! He had created the frightened insecure person she is! Did this selfless, ignorant man ever listen to his conscience about cheating? Did he ever think to himself that what he was doing was wrong?

"Why…" Her broken voice whimpered, her hands covering her distraught face.

Her sight now fogged from the tears, she couldn't control the held back tears any longer. How would she react when he finally told her? He may have one secret but she too had a dark secret which killed her every waking hour of the day, which she would confess tonight.

Her ears pricked up, when she heard the familiar sound of a car's engine approaching the manor, the golden stream of lights illuminating from his Lamborghini's` car; flooding the study room through the windows where she waited for the last past hours. Sakura turned her head to the grandfather's clock to see the time was 2am.

_He_ was home. She had heard his car coming up the driveway, and now able to see his car's movements by the light bouncing off the walls. Sakura listened intently as he slammed the car door, unlocking the manor and stepped inside. She stayed silent listening to his steps against the marble floor as she heard him walking her way, she heard him cough causing her heart to beat faster, and his steps growing louder the closer he came. It felt like an hour to Sakura before she saw the door handle twist and he entered smoothly into the study with a cold facade on his face. Revealing him in a white formal suit with black business trousers, his suitcase in his right hand with his business suit draped over his arm. His chocolate locks messy as usual which gave him a sensual bed look that possessed all females to his advantage, sexuality radiating from him. He opened the door slowly, and didn't even bother to look Sakura's way. Syaoran knew she had waited up for him; there was no need to confirm it by sight.

"I thought I told you to not wait up, Sakura" His velvet voice spoke, jerking Sakura. It had been a few days since he had spoken to her likewise for Sakura; he had always had this way of making her feel young and alive ever since they had met as young adults. Heat rushed through her body, feeling awkward on front of him shuffling uncomfortably in her seat.

"Y-yes, I thought you m-might be hungry-"

"I can assure you I am fine, thank you" He formally spoke cutting her off her sentence rudely, continuing to look through the mail pausing to read a letter before flicking to the next with a flick of his wrist.

They had always been like this, with Sakura welcoming him home and him being unsympathetic and formal towards her like a boss with a client. An awkward silence settled between them, both not knowing what to say to the other. But with Sakura thinking this of course unlike her husband Syaoran Li who couldn't care less.

"W-well then h-how was your day Syaoran?" She inquired shakily standing up slowly moving towards him, wiping her clammy hands on her garment trying to not let him notice her uneasiness.

"The usual…you?" he replied dully in a monotone voice still facing his back from her, placing the letters into the cabinet safely.

"u-uh well I went out for abit and just stayed inside for most of the day, but j-just the same old I s-suppose…" she stuttered, he nodded and turned around starting to unbutton his shirt's cuffs and top two buttons of his business shirt; along with loosening his tie giving him a lazy look. Even if he wore khaki pants and a vest top he was the sort of person that could look good in anything.

"Ah, I see" He breathed showing no interest evident in his voice what so ever; Sakura nodded looking at the ground finding the carpet suddenly interesting.

"Well then if you shall excuse me, I shall retire for the night" he spoke, before picking up his suitcase and proceeding to walk up to _'their'_ room; leaving a heavy silence between the two.

"G-goodnight, S-Syaoran" She stumbled with no reply from him…as expected.

She felt sick, disgusted seeing his face; having the growing urge to then and there to slap him across the face hard for all he had made her go through these past months. It took her will power to not lose it right then back in the study room, she thought watching walk down the corridor into the main room with him climbing the staircase.

"Sakura" he trailed; he turned his body slightly towards her, his cold façade more icier then she had ever seen it. A cold shiver ran down her spine, Sakura felt her legs about to give way under his hardened glare; her legs feeling like jelly leaned against the bottom of the stair railing for support. She shuddered under his stare, feeling her whole body afflicting as if she was naked, trembling violently from the small proportion that she had been eating over the months in result of not taking care of her body. Her face innocent and tired, she cocked her head to the side slightly giving him a confused expression on her pale face. He leaned on the stair case bannister gesturing her to continue, with his facial expressions going obscure. As if he was waiting for her to do something…

'_What does he want me to say?'_

"What's the m-matter, Syaoran?" Sakura asked innocently, timidly pushing a hair strand behind her ear with a shaky hand. He sighed exasperatedly cursing under his breath; he proceeded back down the stairs towards Sakura.

Sakura gulped nervously clenching her clammy hands, determined that she would _not _allow _him_ the satisfactory of her being weak and helpless. He arched his brow urging her to continue, she inhaled slowly lifting her head to meet his cold amber eyes piercing through her very soul.

"I've had enough" He remarked tiredly.

Her ears pricked up, immediately looking up to see his solemn expression. Sakura felt a sickening feeling growing at the pit of her stomach, making her feel nauseous. Her breath hitched, Sakura felt her chest compressing. There was desperation in her heart, a sense of devastation and failure in her soul. She had lost him, reality had finally hitted her.

He steadily approached her with now a metre separating them, she breathed in smelling an inimitable scent…

She felt disgusted, sick, dirty, ashamed…

She shook her head closing her eyes slowly backing away, he smelt of _her_ with the faint smell of distinctive smell of sex, it overwhelmed her; images running through her head of him and _her_. The moans of the intimacy of her husband and the other women he had been sleeping with, kami-sama it wouldn't now shock her if he had been sleeping with more than one slut. The caresses he would share with her, his husky voice moaning her name in pure lust… God it made her blood boil.

She now noticed his clothes were untidily sticking out in places being closer up to him, she turned her head away not baring to look at him. She felt _so _stupid, his face made her feel repugnance. Regret washing over her, it felt like the whole world was trying to warn her but she just ignored all of the pleas and warnings and walked right into a trap.

"I-I…w-why…Y-you have been c-cheat-"

"Yes, I have for the past five months. I have been sleeping with women behind your back, I want a divorce Sakura" He admitted cutting her off. Sakura fought back the tears, but her voice failed her and cracked.

"Oh god" She whimpered breathlessly, her hand covering her mouth backing into the wall nearly tripping over. She wanted to scream! To cry! But her body just wouldn't respond, shaking her head in disbelief, chanting 'oh god, I can't believe it' her head buried in her hands. She turned her face away not baring to look at her husband one second longer, she felt like dying…she felt so _betrayed._

He opened his briefcase taking out a sheet of paper passing it to Sakura, with the words in bold '_DIVORCE' _mocking her. She found it getting harder to breathe every second, taking it all in as Syaoran explained everything. She tuned his voice out…her friends were _so _right…and she was _so_ wrong. Kami-sama! How naïve she had been! She believed every little white lie that _bastard_ husband of hers had said to her!

"-So make sure the papers are signed by next week or my lawyer will take this to court-"he trailed noticing Sakura wasn't paying attention.

He calmly began to walk over towards her, watching her breathe dangerously heavily hyperventilating. He watched her shake her head with shock and disparagement on her face. He reached out to touch her but was slapped by Sakura, her face flushed and red her breathing heavy with the contract falling onto the ground.

"Don't you _fucking_ touch me, you dam bastard!" She spat, realising she had been holding her breath; her body shaking in pure anger. Syaoran felt a pang in his heart seeing her teary emerald eyes, her confused tears flowing down her pale face. She inwardly forced her eyes to look at him, forgetting that she was crying looking like a total wreck.

"And take this piece of junk!" She screamed.

She wrenched the wedding ring off her finger fiercely, looking at it sickly for a mere second before throwing it on the unkind marble floor, the gem shattering to pieces symbolising their relationship, with the metal band clashing onto the ground. The sound of only the metal clattering against the ground only heard.

"It means _nothing_ to me anymore!" her voice echoed.

What came next was totally unexpected for Syaoran, a hard slap across his right cheek stung creating a tingled sensation he held his red burning cheek in shock.

"Didn't your conscience ever scream out to you that what you were doing was wrong? Did you ever _think_ to consider my feelings! That whore you slept with was she good huh?" She whispered icily.

Syaoran stood there stunned, watching his wife lash out her anger.

"Sakura-"

"You have no fucking right to call me that! It's kinomoto to you Li! I gave everything up for you, my friends and my family! Despite all of the bad rumours from everyone I ignored them, because I thought you were an honest man" Syaoran stepped back shocked with his wife's outburst, even from day one he had never heard her swear. _Ever_.

A sharp gasp and she felt her whole body ache in pain as she took a much needed breath. She felt her heart slowly beat at a steady rate one again, burning with anguish every beat it took. She wearily clutched her shirt over her heart, breathing wearily. Syaoran disturbed approached her to check if she was alright but was prevented by Sakura's hand striking him away from her.

"Stay away from me!" She snapped.

He hesitantly obeyed her, stepping away from her giving her space to breathe obediently.

"Why…" Syaoran's eyes shot up to see her auburn bangs covering her eyes, her voice broken; hoarse with pain.

"Why Syaoran…" her strangled whisper echoed in the empty room more loudly this time. He felt his chest tighten even more, something he didn't think was even possible…

"Why did you do this to me? What did I do to make you do this…I suffered every single dam day for you. I always thought my _'faithful'_ dear husband was working hard, and I would be the faithful wife and wait for him…huh pretty ironic don't you think? Turns out I was the only faithful one in this relationship, and there I was thinking I wasn't the only one…but how wrong I was huh?" She scornfully hissed, pain growing in her voice.

"I can't believe I actually cried for you that night when you didn't come home…God I thought something bad had happened, turns out you were sleeping with countless women…"

"Sakura, please-"

"Damare!"(1) she said much louder, her voice full of untold emotion and her body failing her as she stepped close to a chair to hold on to its arm. He knew the answer. He noticed she was glaring at his neck and followed her glare to see it rested on a purple bruise on his neck, a hickey from one of the women he had slept with earlier in the day.

Syaoran felt his heart swell with pain and guilt, bowing his head unable to face her.

"You don't understand kinomoto" he snarled.

Sakura's face visibly flinched at Syaoran's statement, but there was a new fear gripping at her heart. She was finally going to obtain the answer she had yearned to know the past months.

"Then why-"

"I believe this relationship is going nowhere, Sakura. I'm doing you a favour" he retorted.

_She trusted him and he misused it._

"I tried to work it out with you but I don't feel a spark anymore like there used to be-"

'_No, you never tried…'_

He combed his hand through his chocolate locks; a well-known habit of his she had learnt when he was stressed or nervous. He arched an eyebrow seeing a sad smile graze her face, noticing this Sakura whispered, "I guess I did a favour for you too"

"Being what?"

"The Miscarriage of _our_ child" Syaoran literally felt his world crumbling around him, his breath hitched.

"Y-You're pregnant?"

"I was pregnant, until my body couldn't cope with the strain and melancholy. I suffered from anorexia these past months causing malnutrition and in result the baby to suffer. That baby was the _only_ thing I had dammit! But _you_ had to take that too away from me! The _only_ thing I had left!" Sakura broke down into tears again, instinctively wrapping her hand protectively over her abdomen where their child _should_ have been…

"But of course you wouldn't of noticed" She trailed sardonically. "You were too busy sleeping with other women to satisfy your lustful needs!" she continued, she looked away from him, harshly closing her eyes and releasing a breathy sigh.

"Sakura-"

"I thought I told you to call me Kinomoto You lying bastard!" her voice wavered painfully, Syaoran began to walk towards her but the more her got closer the more Sakura screamed at Syaoran as he approached her and had attempted to help her up. Syaoran shuddered at her cursing and Syaoran recoiled in result. Her body was assaulted by shakes and another choked whisper was heard in the room as Sakura slowly raised herself on wobbly limbs.

"Don't touch me! You make me feel dirty like one of those whores you slept with!"

"I also…got one of them pregnant"

"Dear Kami (2)…please no" she begged weakly in a hoarse voice.

She began to turn away once again but Syaoran caught her in a firm grip by her wrist, in retaliation she gave him a venomous glare and roughly pulled out of his grip.

"I _hate_ you…" She whispered coldly, his body froze.

Syaoran's breath caught in his throat…

Sakura couldn't take it; she began to briskly walk up the stairs ignoring his calls for her commanding her to stop. She couldn't bare to see or hear his face again, her world was rapidly shattering around her, being no longer able to see through her tear fogged eyes she tripped on the steps grazing her knee.

"Itai…" (3) She whimpered holding her twisted ankle.

'_Will you marry me?'_

"Sakura, Stop!" He called once again.

'_Wo ai ni, (4) Sakura…'_

She wanted…no she _needed _to be free from him and this chaos, and she needed to be free from it now. Sakura muffled her sobs running into 'their' bedroom locking the door firmly behind her, hiding away from Syaoran the only place where she could be alone.

**~~SxS~~**

He watched her trip on the staircase; feeling his heart twist painfully watching the scene unfold before him. Achingly pulling herself up using the staircase bannister for support, her face distraught in pain.

'_I love you, Syaoran-kun!'_

His eyes widened observing her do this all by herself, she had changed drastically over the months and he never apprehended it. She had become an independent woman not needing to lean on anyone else except herself…

'_I want to spend the rest of my life with you!'_

His chocolate bangs of hair covered his eye sight, now only hearing her soft whimpers with the light thud of her delicate body fall to the ground; Syaoran gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists so tight the skin on his palms began to break under the pressure of his nails.

'_Why did you do this to me?'_

He cringed hearing her cries and whimpers, imagining her alone in the house waiting for him in a robot like manner while he was sleeping with other women.

"Sakura…" he whispered hoarsely to himself.

'_Her smile…her laughter…'_

She stumbled to her feet failing again and again shattering herself even more, his heart felt like it was being stabbed again and again. Leaving a permanent scar that would punish him for eternity for the pain he had caused her, he deserved it…she_ didn't_ deserve it.

"Sakura…"

Syaoran remembered a time when he wouldn't have been this vulnerable, when he had been able to push these feelings down in an instant. Now that self-had been destroyed, Sakura had banished him from her heart, mind, and soul. And right then and there Syaoran missed that; no words could comprehend how he was internally bleeding.

'_Stay away from me!'_

A sense of nostalgia waved over him. she had moved on leaving him behind, he felt not needed and hollow inside…was this what she felt every waking hour of the day? Syaoran silently thought.

He wanted to run to her and console her, he felt disgusted with himself; why was he _so_ unfaithful to her. He had destroyed her! He had become a monster.

'_Even though I will be punished for that…that's fine!'_

Taking deep calming breaths, Sakura slowly pulled herself up and willed the tension in her shoulders to pass out of her. She relaxed her eyes and parted her lips to allow the soothing air to pass through them easier.

Once he heard the door firmly slam shut, he awoke from his trance hastily running up the stairs distressing the worst on what she might do to herself in her ill state, if _anything_ happened to her he would never forgive himself…_never_.

"Sakura!" His voice cracked, not caring anymore if he looked weak, launching up the stairs.

'_Please Sakura wait for me!'_

**~~SxS~~**

She heard his rushed footsteps coming up the marble stairs, panic rushing through her.

'_Leave me alone!'_

Her body jolted when he started violently pounding his fists against the door constantly, Sakura felt as if she was drowning. The room was suffocating her…she needed to be _free_.

**BANG BANG BANG**

"Open the door, Sakura!"

No answer…

"I said open the fucking door dammit!" He roared, his voice rising in desperation continuously hammering the door aggressively. But still his pleas went ignored…

He listened intently on the other side of the door a few rustling here and there could be heard until he overheard a click…

His eyes widened.

_**I should have known this wasn't real**_

"Sakura! Sakura!"

Panick arose within him, never before had he felt so scared in his entire life!

He thrusted his whole weight onto the door throwing it off the door's hinges, desperately he scanned around the room to see Sakura in the center of the grand room with a hand gun pointed towards her head loaded, tears streamed down his face in anguish for the first time since he was a child a gut feeling growing telling him that their time together had finally come to an end.

_**And fought it off and fought to feel**_

Everything seemed to go _so_ slow for Syaoran, his eyes only concentrated on her tear stained face. Her hand shakily cocked the hammer a strangled whimper escaped her.

'_She's scared!'_

_**You make it hard to smile because**_

_'She's scared to die! Then why do it!'_

"Sakura!"

_**You make it hard to breathe**_

He screamed her name, lunging forwards he reached towards her...

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

'_I hate you…'_

Blank green eyes looked back at him.

Syaoran froze.

_**To me, to me, to me.**_

She pulled the trigger.

_**Why do you do this to me?**_

_**Why do you do this so easily to me?**_

_**You make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breathe…**_

_**Why do you do this to me…**_

**~~SxS~~**

* * *

><p>(1) Damare- Shut up<p>

(2) kami-sama/kami – God

(3) itai – it hurts

(4) Wo ai ni- I love you (in chinese)


End file.
